I am a modern teen in India. By Modern i define myself as a cool guy which iteratively means i listen to the latest songs , have opinions on stuff i dont know and revolt against all established morals and practices . I dont know what those words mean but to me everything is in for a change and i am one of the next generation of the SuperPower .
Now that i have defined myself i have to show myself as to what i am . How do I do it ? Its simple . I simply follow the 10 commandments of a modern Teen
1) Modern looks require expensive dresses . they must be branded , torn and "IN" < I dont know what that means , still its "IN"> . My parents may or may not have the money to afford them , but my friends wear them and the media endorses it with Priyanka Chopra . I gotta get some of them even if i have to sell my kidneys for them. They signify that i follow youth politics on MTV extensively .
2) I must show rebellion at all times , even if the thing i rebel against is very helpful to me .
3) My vocabulary must not contain more than 10 words . Complicated words are boring . Words end with as many exclamation marks as they can. The shorter the better . And they must not exceed the list of word : " LOLZ....!!!" , "Awesum ,oosum, Yeah ! , Kewl ,@ hum , w r u,m txting," .
And i must make fun of guys who post with good grammar and of nerds and geeks who post in pseudo geek-jargon by trolling them with comments like " U luzer , U suckz , I Roxxx " etc etc
4)Hanging Out : My entire life depends on hanging out . I spend almost all my time with my friends except when at the Loo . We must bicker and chat like old hags all the time . Hanging out with a group as big as it can shows that I am well respected in my gangz of Cool Dudes . All sentences must include "Yo" and "woz up " to signify a gangster attitude.
5)Music : Rap and Pop . I dont know what the heck the guy sings in those songs . But they are cool cause its what most listen to. It might be full of swear words and Baby , Nigga , other racist slurs and sexual jibes . But i dont care cause i dont understand most of the time what he says.Hip-Hop is my life and I am gangsta for life .
In order to prove my allegiance to Rap and Pop i occasionally troll people who listen to other types of music. I troll HeadBangers as Goth Shit , classical Music listeners as Pussy shit . All other genre are stupid with shit at the end .
6)Intelligence : Yo dont need brains to survive in this world . I mean look at me ! I have never done anything commendable or used my brain to achieve solutions . I listen to MTV ! I rebel by listening to MTV . I show my intelligence by copying quotes of sites and uploading them as status updates on facebook or tweet them. I mean , who gives a damn as to who said it originally . By posting them i show class and ooze of brains . Studies are long way from me . whats in the textbook is enough . I am here to enjoy life , not to use to make the world a better place.
7)Photos on facebook : Publicity matters a lot . It is essential for me to take 20,000 pictures of mine in the same dress with different poses in all the angles contorting my body and take as many shots of my butt and body . The picture can be devoid of any talent as long as it covers my face .
8)Sports : OK. I follow sports to an extent . Its in my blood and i have enough brains to hold the statistics of my favorite player with ease . If there is one thing i love , its sports be it anything .
9)Movies : Anything with Katrina , Priyanka Chopra , Kareena and their respective Boyfriends ROCKZ in my opinion . And thats all i can say for any movie that releases .My frontal lobes are severly under-developed to appreciate the tonnes of Good cinema made in the art and even in the mainstream world . All i give a damn is for item songs . And yes i have "LIKED" the page where President Katrina has petitioned for a Best item song category at the National Film awards .
10)Scientific Outlook : Global Warming must be stopped . Plastic must be banned . oh wait ! even my toothbrush is polycarbonate . what do i brush my teeth with ? Human hair ? Who cares . I support the enviroment by planting more trees even if they dont have enough water in a poisoned soil . I drive a car at all times , even if its to go to a bathroom. I cant walk , my low hip pants wont allow it .
Ultimately , PALZ and ROKRZ , this is how i define myself as a modern Indian. With a billion more like me truly we can become the laughing stock of the Chinese and the Western World . we dont need to give a damn about the country , but as long as we post "LIKES " on the INDIA is OOSUM page in facebook we are being politically correct and are a perfect SuperPower's next GENERATION or GEN X!!!LOLZ !! , because you know shortened words are the norm ,
