Thursday, October 13, 2011
Dennis Ritchie co-creator of C and Unix dies at 70
Dennis Ritchie co-creator of C and Unix died at the age of 70 . Compared to the media hullabaloo and deityfing of a marketing man a week ago whose most significant contribution was a one mouse button and a device that sucked people's money and freedom , Ritchie's contribution to the world included C a language that can be said as the most important development since the Turing Machine in my opinion. C was not only a language , it was philosophy , a way to deal with problems and a beautiful way to tackle them . the Unix OS had the same principles which lead to its widespread adoption as the OS on which the internet was built and whose successors Linux and BSD still pave the way for development and innovation . Ritchie will be deeply missed by the programmer and hacker community and by a guy like me who discovered a gem that taught him what it means to write beautiful programs called The C Programming Language , 2nd Edition.
Friday, September 30, 2011
The Stereotypical Textbook
A few posts ago , I wrote about the stereotypical villain. I mentioned the appearance , characteristics and personality of such a person( if it exists). However , I believe that it is time I bring to your attention the character of a much more personal , dangerous villain we encounter in our day to day life who literally makes us pull our hair out with frustration.
They are textbooks.
Myth says there there was nary a man who had opened a textbook without the faintest bit of fear , apprehension. When one opens it , even the warmest of volcanoes turn cold . Water freezes at room temperature and people tend to Urinate the hardest.
What makes textbooks so morbid and ominous ?
1) same as the villain ... Bad Appearance.
Lets take magazines . Colorful. Glossy.Full of half-naked women with voluptuous bosoms. Cheap ? Yes. Sell like hot cakes. Sold everywhere . Popular too .Size Zero ?? You bet.
Textbooks . Cheap ? You bet. i spend more money in buying textbooks than in paying fees for the exam where i put the content of those books to use .
Colorful.Yes its so choke full of gray, black and white I get reminded of my Grandpa everytime I open it .Occasionally some textbook has a dual-color or a gradient color , prompting orgasms from book worms all over the place.
Full of half-naked women with voluptuous bosoms ?? I dont think such kind of women are inclined to read why heap sort is preferred over bubble sort.
Sells like hot cakes ? Unfortunately , with a gazillion students graduating every year ,textbooks are in great demand to memorize and vomit tonnes of shit into answer papers, prompting black market sales and robbery of the libraries.
Size Zero ?? more like Madame Dinosaur who became depressed after her 15th marriage ended in divorce . Big , fat and weighing atleast 150 kilos . And that's only Part 1.
2) False Promises and assurances .
The greatest textbooks start with the following sentences.
" This book will offer you a gentle introduction into the contents ....."
" By the time you finish this book , you know what hell feels like..... "
"The language is very easy , the text concise so that monkeys like you know better than to buy a book like this "
This so reminds me of politicians and mega-villains
" I will kill the bloody hero and wash my leg with his blood "
" He will die for his arrogance and opposition" .... " I will make an example out of him""
Lies will take you nowhere . Be honest and remove that bloody preface . Atleast it will help us save a couple of bucks and 500 grams of weight.
3) Cost. for the price of a textbook , you can buy three Lamborghinis and a fit it with a nitrous kit and still have enough cash leftover to go on a trip to mars and back.
Knowledge is wealth . Plain trash made from the english alphabet is even more expensive .
4) Uselessness.
Just like villains they are just empty words. At the last minute you desperately try using your book , demanding it , pleading with it show some enlightenment .Hopeless. You will still get trashed by your opponent .
Enough of the Cynicism . What can be textbooks used for ?
Textbooks are extremely useful as weapons of mass destruction . A 1000 of them when dropped over a city can do as much damage as 10 kiloton nuke.
Textbooks are also the source of a contagious disease called Twilightophiliosis where people get hallucinations of being consorts of vampires and start drinking diluted Nerolac paint .
Old textbooks are a very dangerous source of radiation, causing sever long term effects among users and other people who come in contact with them . Always be wary of such items when you go into an old book shop.The movie Resident Evil is said to have been inspired by such an infection of ten people in an old college .
Indeed with the recent turn of events , factions of al-Qaeda and Hizbul-Mujahideen have dropped their plans on acquiring nukes and have started collecting textbooks of the Anna University and are planning to detonate it in metropolitan cities across the world . They are so dangerous that most of the terrorist who have come in contact with them are said to be suffering from terminal cancer and will commit the detonation as the last act of their life before going on meet their god.
We can conclude that unlike filmy villains , textbooks arent that useless. The easiest way to get into the Forbes 500 is make a contract with Colleges in Tamilnadu and start supplying textbooks to students.Banks are in talks with each other to delve into the prospect of offering book loans to students in lieu of their brains and kidneys . Or else if you are the taking action into hands kind who hates the world , you can make your own book bomb and drop it all over the country .
Remember , with great power comes great responsibility .
They are textbooks.
Myth says there there was nary a man who had opened a textbook without the faintest bit of fear , apprehension. When one opens it , even the warmest of volcanoes turn cold . Water freezes at room temperature and people tend to Urinate the hardest.
What makes textbooks so morbid and ominous ?
1) same as the villain ... Bad Appearance.
Lets take magazines . Colorful. Glossy.Full of half-naked women with voluptuous bosoms. Cheap ? Yes. Sell like hot cakes. Sold everywhere . Popular too .Size Zero ?? You bet.
Textbooks . Cheap ? You bet. i spend more money in buying textbooks than in paying fees for the exam where i put the content of those books to use .
Colorful.Yes its so choke full of gray, black and white I get reminded of my Grandpa everytime I open it .Occasionally some textbook has a dual-color or a gradient color , prompting orgasms from book worms all over the place.
Full of half-naked women with voluptuous bosoms ?? I dont think such kind of women are inclined to read why heap sort is preferred over bubble sort.
Sells like hot cakes ? Unfortunately , with a gazillion students graduating every year ,textbooks are in great demand to memorize and vomit tonnes of shit into answer papers, prompting black market sales and robbery of the libraries.
Size Zero ?? more like Madame Dinosaur who became depressed after her 15th marriage ended in divorce . Big , fat and weighing atleast 150 kilos . And that's only Part 1.
2) False Promises and assurances .
The greatest textbooks start with the following sentences.
" This book will offer you a gentle introduction into the contents ....."
" By the time you finish this book , you know what hell feels like..... "
"The language is very easy , the text concise so that monkeys like you know better than to buy a book like this "
This so reminds me of politicians and mega-villains
" I will kill the bloody hero and wash my leg with his blood "
" He will die for his arrogance and opposition" .... " I will make an example out of him""
Lies will take you nowhere . Be honest and remove that bloody preface . Atleast it will help us save a couple of bucks and 500 grams of weight.
3) Cost. for the price of a textbook , you can buy three Lamborghinis and a fit it with a nitrous kit and still have enough cash leftover to go on a trip to mars and back.
Knowledge is wealth . Plain trash made from the english alphabet is even more expensive .
4) Uselessness.
Just like villains they are just empty words. At the last minute you desperately try using your book , demanding it , pleading with it show some enlightenment .Hopeless. You will still get trashed by your opponent .
Enough of the Cynicism . What can be textbooks used for ?
Textbooks are extremely useful as weapons of mass destruction . A 1000 of them when dropped over a city can do as much damage as 10 kiloton nuke.
Textbooks are also the source of a contagious disease called Twilightophiliosis where people get hallucinations of being consorts of vampires and start drinking diluted Nerolac paint .
Old textbooks are a very dangerous source of radiation, causing sever long term effects among users and other people who come in contact with them . Always be wary of such items when you go into an old book shop.The movie Resident Evil is said to have been inspired by such an infection of ten people in an old college .
Indeed with the recent turn of events , factions of al-Qaeda and Hizbul-Mujahideen have dropped their plans on acquiring nukes and have started collecting textbooks of the Anna University and are planning to detonate it in metropolitan cities across the world . They are so dangerous that most of the terrorist who have come in contact with them are said to be suffering from terminal cancer and will commit the detonation as the last act of their life before going on meet their god.
We can conclude that unlike filmy villains , textbooks arent that useless. The easiest way to get into the Forbes 500 is make a contract with Colleges in Tamilnadu and start supplying textbooks to students.Banks are in talks with each other to delve into the prospect of offering book loans to students in lieu of their brains and kidneys . Or else if you are the taking action into hands kind who hates the world , you can make your own book bomb and drop it all over the country .
Remember , with great power comes great responsibility .
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Friggin Exams
Due to impending exams , I have to spend time reading pointless stuff that would make even Dr.Sheldon Cooper vomit at the sheer amount of blasphemy.So I will be quite a break before I resume writing stuff again . Fear not , for the last bastion of freedom isnt destroyed yet. Its just taken a pee break . Enjoy your time and read better ones to stave off boredom.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
A classification of music genres and fans
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Heights of Insanity
You know when you are crazy when
1.) Wake until 2 in the morning and then go into the kitchen to make a bowl of hot soup .
2.) Turn on all the fans when it is freezing and then sleep without a shirt just for the sake of feeling the raw chillness.
3.)Walk all the way from R.S Puram to Gandhipuram via Townhall and back to R.S Puram at
4 in the evening just because you are bored at home .
4.)Play 4 hours of Counter-Strike right before the day of the exam to keep away the guilty-consciousness that washes over you when you dont want to study.
5.)Read a 500 page book cover-to-cover in 2 days when sitting in front of the teacher in the lab.
6.)Go out of the house at 10 PM to get a bar of candy
7.)Go to the library and read page no 150 of Advanced Quantum Physics despite majoring
in software engineering.
8.)Chatting with 5 people simultaneously , 2 on facebook , 2 on gmail and screaming at your Mom live.
9.)Drinking the mil right out of the packet without boiling or pouring it in a Tumbler just because it saves you 30 secs despite you waking up 30 min late.
10.)Doing math to calculate the Dot pixels per inch of your computer screen while walking down the street.
11.)Reading newspapers sitting near a windows in the bus, so as to not miss the editorial before dad reads it .
12.)Trying to memorize value of Pi upto 20 digits.
13.)Trying to index your notes by using a hybrid system of Letters and date of when you wrote them.
14.)Holind your laptop upside down in the bed to get better colors off the screen while watching a movie.
15.)Carefully rolling up the Wireless Router in a soft cloth while taking it from your bedroom to the Hall.
Am I alone or are there ones crazier ?? Share your experiences with me
1.) Wake until 2 in the morning and then go into the kitchen to make a bowl of hot soup .
2.) Turn on all the fans when it is freezing and then sleep without a shirt just for the sake of feeling the raw chillness.
3.)Walk all the way from R.S Puram to Gandhipuram via Townhall and back to R.S Puram at
4 in the evening just because you are bored at home .
4.)Play 4 hours of Counter-Strike right before the day of the exam to keep away the guilty-consciousness that washes over you when you dont want to study.
5.)Read a 500 page book cover-to-cover in 2 days when sitting in front of the teacher in the lab.
6.)Go out of the house at 10 PM to get a bar of candy
7.)Go to the library and read page no 150 of Advanced Quantum Physics despite majoring
in software engineering.
8.)Chatting with 5 people simultaneously , 2 on facebook , 2 on gmail and screaming at your Mom live.
9.)Drinking the mil right out of the packet without boiling or pouring it in a Tumbler just because it saves you 30 secs despite you waking up 30 min late.
10.)Doing math to calculate the Dot pixels per inch of your computer screen while walking down the street.
11.)Reading newspapers sitting near a windows in the bus, so as to not miss the editorial before dad reads it .
12.)Trying to memorize value of Pi upto 20 digits.
13.)Trying to index your notes by using a hybrid system of Letters and date of when you wrote them.
14.)Holind your laptop upside down in the bed to get better colors off the screen while watching a movie.
15.)Carefully rolling up the Wireless Router in a soft cloth while taking it from your bedroom to the Hall.
Am I alone or are there ones crazier ?? Share your experiences with me
Friday, August 19, 2011
Looking beyond the Anna Haz(ar)e
An declaration before i proceed. I am no expert in economics or politics. I write what my facebook-addicted , FPS crazy mind thinks. And this blog post is an expression of my thoughts and views .
While the nation is embroiled in the great Lokpal issue, and crowds throng the streets supporting Anna , instead of visiting the malls , posing for photographs , one gets the feelings that we are undergoing a major change . the post Lokpal issue India will be a better one , a better one for Indians , free of corruption and a superpower in 2020.
When i read such words i am filled with amusement . superpower in 2020 ?? sure why not , with all the current crop of players trained in the IPL , why wont we be ?
If you are mention the year , then my dear man please dont kid yourself . Tell me what it means by a superpower ?? Do you have any idea of the difference in development between us and the biggest kid next door ? Do you have any idea of what economics is ?
We are kidding ourselves with these thoughts . The lokpal bill introduced by the government was a joke on the citizens. You couldnt investigate half of the parliament ? No direct action possible , only suggestions or recommendations . Want to help whistleblowers ?? Out of luck . Want to impeach the Prime Minister on a swiss trip when a building at an Olympics event collapses ?? Dead End mate .
And to top it all there are these youngsters and 30's guys , holding candle to support the movement against corruption . Arses , do you really think that would help ? Do you wear a helmet before jumping onto the 60 kmph rocket of yours ? DO you pay your taxes instead of cheating your income statement ? Ever donated money for a cause ??
Reformation is not a quick easy process.Its unlike downloading the latest movies. We need a fundamental change in the society. Our traditional values will not take us any further.Respect has been mistaken for subservience .
No longer segregation of castes and reservation applies.Do a quick calculation and tell me how many developed countries have 27 % living space for a certain section of the people .
Our country is weighed down by its dumbshit bureaucracy. Freedom of expression is guaranteed as long as it does not conflict with the nation's interest. Does it mean that i cannot complain about bumpy roads 'cause it might point to a massive trail of bribery and fraudulent dealings ?? And does the interest of the government change every 5 years ??
What people are good at is forgetting things. a year from now , all thoughts of the jan lokpal bill will be forgotten when karan johar shoots his next film with SRK on the moon. People will talk instead of how bollywood is conquering the solar system.
You will not remember the oath you took against corruption. When your circumstances force you , you will bribe the guy at the office to make your house purchase quick and easy. You will evade tax and show fraudulent income just because you can save a buck in your miserly life . If this isnt going to change then even in 202020 India will remain a trash can.No one can think for his/her own. where did all this civic sense and national pride go before anna hazare started a fast at jantar mantar ?? too chickened out ? Remember that we shared a gene pool with sheeps 100 million years ago , not now . You have a 1.6 kg organ called brain that consumes 25% of what your breath all the time .Use it .
All this is not a bad thing. We need to think of what our actions will achieve. In terms of what will be the consequences after decades.By concentrating on the final results that the agitation will bear.Simply holding up a placard when everyone shouts will not change your country.Wearing tricolor t shirts shows you only consider stuff when it is cool, not that you are actually interested in it.All the patriotism must not come out only on 14th August 8:00 PM and definitely not in terms of facebook pictures, tags and status updates.
So fellow citizens, you may dismiss this ranting of a lonely nerd sitting in his home and blogging through his PC. Or you try finding some part of what he says that makes sense to you and opens your eyes towards the mountains of reason. The choice is yours. use it well ..... May the force be with us
While the nation is embroiled in the great Lokpal issue, and crowds throng the streets supporting Anna , instead of visiting the malls , posing for photographs , one gets the feelings that we are undergoing a major change . the post Lokpal issue India will be a better one , a better one for Indians , free of corruption and a superpower in 2020.
When i read such words i am filled with amusement . superpower in 2020 ?? sure why not , with all the current crop of players trained in the IPL , why wont we be ?
If you are mention the year , then my dear man please dont kid yourself . Tell me what it means by a superpower ?? Do you have any idea of the difference in development between us and the biggest kid next door ? Do you have any idea of what economics is ?
We are kidding ourselves with these thoughts . The lokpal bill introduced by the government was a joke on the citizens. You couldnt investigate half of the parliament ? No direct action possible , only suggestions or recommendations . Want to help whistleblowers ?? Out of luck . Want to impeach the Prime Minister on a swiss trip when a building at an Olympics event collapses ?? Dead End mate .
And to top it all there are these youngsters and 30's guys , holding candle to support the movement against corruption . Arses , do you really think that would help ? Do you wear a helmet before jumping onto the 60 kmph rocket of yours ? DO you pay your taxes instead of cheating your income statement ? Ever donated money for a cause ??
Reformation is not a quick easy process.Its unlike downloading the latest movies. We need a fundamental change in the society. Our traditional values will not take us any further.Respect has been mistaken for subservience .
No longer segregation of castes and reservation applies.Do a quick calculation and tell me how many developed countries have 27 % living space for a certain section of the people .
Our country is weighed down by its dumbshit bureaucracy. Freedom of expression is guaranteed as long as it does not conflict with the nation's interest. Does it mean that i cannot complain about bumpy roads 'cause it might point to a massive trail of bribery and fraudulent dealings ?? And does the interest of the government change every 5 years ??
What people are good at is forgetting things. a year from now , all thoughts of the jan lokpal bill will be forgotten when karan johar shoots his next film with SRK on the moon. People will talk instead of how bollywood is conquering the solar system.
You will not remember the oath you took against corruption. When your circumstances force you , you will bribe the guy at the office to make your house purchase quick and easy. You will evade tax and show fraudulent income just because you can save a buck in your miserly life . If this isnt going to change then even in 202020 India will remain a trash can.No one can think for his/her own. where did all this civic sense and national pride go before anna hazare started a fast at jantar mantar ?? too chickened out ? Remember that we shared a gene pool with sheeps 100 million years ago , not now . You have a 1.6 kg organ called brain that consumes 25% of what your breath all the time .Use it .
All this is not a bad thing. We need to think of what our actions will achieve. In terms of what will be the consequences after decades.By concentrating on the final results that the agitation will bear.Simply holding up a placard when everyone shouts will not change your country.Wearing tricolor t shirts shows you only consider stuff when it is cool, not that you are actually interested in it.All the patriotism must not come out only on 14th August 8:00 PM and definitely not in terms of facebook pictures, tags and status updates.
So fellow citizens, you may dismiss this ranting of a lonely nerd sitting in his home and blogging through his PC. Or you try finding some part of what he says that makes sense to you and opens your eyes towards the mountains of reason. The choice is yours. use it well ..... May the force be with us
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The stereotypic villain
As i see it , villains are more important than the heroes. You can make any douche bag act as a hero. All he needs to do is maintain shiny white teeth so as to give a big smile everytime somebody points a camera at him. He need not worry about girls cause you know , girls in the movie have to tendency to fall in love with him instantly due to his actions like say, pissing on a tree to add urea to it or helping an old lady cross the road < the first thing we learn in the Boy Scouts>. He is well respected by his families or by his friends or both . That guy is cool , oozes attitude , is the apple of the masses and is just about perfect with the exclusion of having brains . Though there are exceptions to this character as in some movies where they portray a real life person , this is the usual hero.
No words have to be said about the heroine. She is as white as a freshly white-washed house, has perky tits and kilograms of lipsticks,wears skimpy clothes and goes out on trips to Goa everytime the hero smiles at her.
Why do many films with such perfect lead characters fail at the box office as well as with movie goers ??
The reason is the Villains .
Everybody loves a challenge. You have a basic urge in you to show others and yourself that you have talent. That you are capable of doing something , achieve a goal. Its mentally exciting and nice to use your physique or brains once in a while.
But when your opponent uses none, the victory over him doesnt excite you . It makes you feel like " god why do i have to fight with such a weakling ?? " This is the case with most of the villains. Their characters just dont challenge the audience or the hero in the movie.
Take the case of Heath Ledger . The dark knight was successful because the joker was a formidable villain. he did not physically fight the batman. He relied on fear , extortion and blackmail to achieve his cause. He never brashly called out to the hero. HE PLANNED his actions and made the police move in the way he wanted to . That is a challenge . It is unique and makes you wanna respect that guy and fear him .
In the case of Stereotypic villains lets see what they have to offer
1) Bad Appearance. The villain is dirty . He is very tall and big in most of the cases. wears kilograms of gold . Dressed in a crumpled Shirt and pants. Looks scary .
Nobody is going to like such a person. Look at the hero. He dresses up fantastically. He wears branded jeans , studs and expensive sunglasses everytime he goes out. The younger ones even wash their faces with creams and apply a profuse amount of deodrant with chocolate to attract chicks . If someone sees you both on the same stage who are they gonna run to ?? You ?? You the guy dressed like a pig thats been rolling in the mud for 40 hours straight ?? Probably not . Go to a shop . Get a pair of good threads . Take bath atleast thrice a week. and cut that long hair of yours and have some spikes .
2) A gang of hooligans . Villains are always surrounded by hooligans bigger than him. yet that guy is the man behind them all . He is their leader. Mr.Villain, aren't you man enough ? aren't you ashamed that while so many guard you , the hero comes alone and whoops all of their asses including yours. Do you need so many men with big knives and sticks ? Wouldnt two of them with a couple of machines guns suffice ? cant you look after yourself ? Shame on you Mr.Villain . Learn from the hero that bravery is essential. No matter if you have 100 goons , they are all going to rush at your enemy one at a time . and still get whooped with bare hands.
3) A tendency to assault girls . This is a turn off. No girl will like you if you force them to have a good time with you . Girls are pretty fragile . They have to handled with care , given gifts and cuddled with . You have to take your time with them and play with them in parks and pubs. You need to shower them with teddybears and hugs for them to love you . The hero goes through so much pain and suffering , even getting shot in the ass by you to make a women fall for him. He has to smile beyond all that botox on his face. You on the other hand simply kidnap her and force her on the bed. You push and pull her and beat her up. Think thats going to improve your TRP ? never .
4) Killing the heroes family . That is definitely not an option . You wanna piss the hero off ? Make the police uncle of his chase you ?? make the court punish you ?? Then dont do it . Your fight is with the hero. Not with his 50 year old mom or his 60 year old dad.
5)Long Loud dialogues. I pay money to watch your guys flex muscles at each other. Throw 50 kg barrels at each other. Dodge bullets . Put Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame . I dont have time for your bravado and false promises on killing the hero . Get on with it and start fighting .
6) Losing Everytime. Winning is not an option . No matter even if you are the CM . You will lose. Doesnt matter if you have 4000 people behind you . You will lose . Shooting the hero with an Ak-47 ?? Still failure. Forget fighting . Give up. Maybe you will survive to act in the next movie.
Ultimately Mr.Villain your condition in the world of cinema is pathetic. No matter how big , bad or ugly you are , you will lose in the climax to the all knowing , loved and respected hero . He is THE GUY. There is no one else. Your goons wont help you .You cannot get the heroine to love you . So stop trying to win. Find some other way. Turn a comedian . You probably have a better chance of getting hooked up with the heroine's best friend or her sister. Seriously thats the only way you can expect to create your future generation. Or turn rational and find better ways to attack the hero. Use your brain .
A sincere request from a pissed off villain-fan.
No words have to be said about the heroine. She is as white as a freshly white-washed house, has perky tits and kilograms of lipsticks,wears skimpy clothes and goes out on trips to Goa everytime the hero smiles at her.
Why do many films with such perfect lead characters fail at the box office as well as with movie goers ??
The reason is the Villains .
Everybody loves a challenge. You have a basic urge in you to show others and yourself that you have talent. That you are capable of doing something , achieve a goal. Its mentally exciting and nice to use your physique or brains once in a while.
But when your opponent uses none, the victory over him doesnt excite you . It makes you feel like " god why do i have to fight with such a weakling ?? " This is the case with most of the villains. Their characters just dont challenge the audience or the hero in the movie.
Take the case of Heath Ledger . The dark knight was successful because the joker was a formidable villain. he did not physically fight the batman. He relied on fear , extortion and blackmail to achieve his cause. He never brashly called out to the hero. HE PLANNED his actions and made the police move in the way he wanted to . That is a challenge . It is unique and makes you wanna respect that guy and fear him .
In the case of Stereotypic villains lets see what they have to offer
1) Bad Appearance. The villain is dirty . He is very tall and big in most of the cases. wears kilograms of gold . Dressed in a crumpled Shirt and pants. Looks scary .
Nobody is going to like such a person. Look at the hero. He dresses up fantastically. He wears branded jeans , studs and expensive sunglasses everytime he goes out. The younger ones even wash their faces with creams and apply a profuse amount of deodrant with chocolate to attract chicks . If someone sees you both on the same stage who are they gonna run to ?? You ?? You the guy dressed like a pig thats been rolling in the mud for 40 hours straight ?? Probably not . Go to a shop . Get a pair of good threads . Take bath atleast thrice a week. and cut that long hair of yours and have some spikes .
2) A gang of hooligans . Villains are always surrounded by hooligans bigger than him. yet that guy is the man behind them all . He is their leader. Mr.Villain, aren't you man enough ? aren't you ashamed that while so many guard you , the hero comes alone and whoops all of their asses including yours. Do you need so many men with big knives and sticks ? Wouldnt two of them with a couple of machines guns suffice ? cant you look after yourself ? Shame on you Mr.Villain . Learn from the hero that bravery is essential. No matter if you have 100 goons , they are all going to rush at your enemy one at a time . and still get whooped with bare hands.
3) A tendency to assault girls . This is a turn off. No girl will like you if you force them to have a good time with you . Girls are pretty fragile . They have to handled with care , given gifts and cuddled with . You have to take your time with them and play with them in parks and pubs. You need to shower them with teddybears and hugs for them to love you . The hero goes through so much pain and suffering , even getting shot in the ass by you to make a women fall for him. He has to smile beyond all that botox on his face. You on the other hand simply kidnap her and force her on the bed. You push and pull her and beat her up. Think thats going to improve your TRP ? never .
4) Killing the heroes family . That is definitely not an option . You wanna piss the hero off ? Make the police uncle of his chase you ?? make the court punish you ?? Then dont do it . Your fight is with the hero. Not with his 50 year old mom or his 60 year old dad.
5)Long Loud dialogues. I pay money to watch your guys flex muscles at each other. Throw 50 kg barrels at each other. Dodge bullets . Put Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame . I dont have time for your bravado and false promises on killing the hero . Get on with it and start fighting .
6) Losing Everytime. Winning is not an option . No matter even if you are the CM . You will lose. Doesnt matter if you have 4000 people behind you . You will lose . Shooting the hero with an Ak-47 ?? Still failure. Forget fighting . Give up. Maybe you will survive to act in the next movie.
Ultimately Mr.Villain your condition in the world of cinema is pathetic. No matter how big , bad or ugly you are , you will lose in the climax to the all knowing , loved and respected hero . He is THE GUY. There is no one else. Your goons wont help you .You cannot get the heroine to love you . So stop trying to win. Find some other way. Turn a comedian . You probably have a better chance of getting hooked up with the heroine's best friend or her sister. Seriously thats the only way you can expect to create your future generation. Or turn rational and find better ways to attack the hero. Use your brain .
A sincere request from a pissed off villain-fan.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)