I took me 2 years to plead and beg for a computer that costed 35k when it was bought new in 2007. An iPhone 5 bought today having half the computing power of my PC sells for 55k . And it has 1/10 the storage mine offers . Lesser RAM and boots slower .
It will become worthless in the next year .
Depreciation has never been so sexier.
I have realised from my quest for gadgets that the worst way to spend your money is to invest in anything with a microchip . Fellers bleed value faster than a chicken gut with a machete .For the few months of their availability each is seen as a 9 inch penis . Their owners tout it as an example of their supreme domination over the rest of us mere mortals. Until a few months after when they realise that I bought it for of what they paid initially . Oh the look on their faces !! Such satisfaction on seeing their erection falter into nothingness :D
.
Anyway the point here is these buggering cellphones in my humble and skeptical opinion are nothing but fancy pieces of buggering useless toys . One : they break faster than an expired condom .
Two : they cost more than a girlfriend to maintain . Three : there is nothing special about them . Millions of idiots with micro penises have them anyway ( I only now realise that the MP in a cellphone's camera means micron <long> penis ).
Take the majority of cellphones today : They suck at battery life . My old Samsung feature phone gave me a week of battery life . Even older Nokias offer close to 10 days . My Xperia ? 30 mins if I don't use it . 2 mins if I even turn on the Wi-Fi . The battery bar drops faster than the stock market during recession . Yet it packs a battery atleast twice as big as my previous phone .
I cant take my SIM card out without turning it off . Nor the microSD card . Its like having to go to the doctor everytime you need to change your dress .
Worse , I cant delete stuff from my own phone . I cant dictate what apps it can run and what it cant . I cant update it to the latest Pendroid/Android version that is released by almighty Googleji . To do that I need to install an app in my computer that updates itself consuming the 25 kbps I get from BSNL in 2013 and then updates the phone. Kind of ironical for a phone that calls itself "SMART" .
My 600 rs Casio watch can resists water upto 50m . The 60k iPhone will sputter and die like a fatso choking on a gigantic piece of chicken arse if dipped even in a bowl of Holy Water . Yo Steve yonder in heaven , art thou listening ? We need an iBone that doesn't iDIE when immersed .
Worse yet ,everywhere you go , you have idiots snapping pictures with their stupid cellphones , pimping it with filters and uploading it to instagram and calling it photography . The only thing worse are those assholes with more lenses and DSLR bodies than brains. After all the filters they put on their photo I seriously doubt if anybody can tell the difference between a woman's boobs and an elephant's . ( On the side note though there are photographers like Chase Jarvis that take really good pics using cellphones and go on to publish books using that work . The author , in the interest of self-disclosure mentions that he occasionally snaps pictures using his 3.15 MP Xperia camera that seems to oddly thinks that it is a water color artist and spits out pictures that seem like they were taken while doing a Harlem shake )
4-core , Dual-core , Octa-core . What does it matter ? As long as there is tonnes of hardcore stuff on certain secluded parts of the internet . Like that makes a difference to how fast you can get laid with your girlfriend ? The only thing it makes faster is the duration in which my batteries get drained . And secondly with your retarded brain moving slower than a sloth I doubt whether all that speed can make a difference . All that core stuff matters when you are doing scientific computing or 3-d rendering . Where the difference matters in terms of electricity costs and time to prototype.
Pretty much BS if all that computing power is going into hurling fat birds onto stupid pigs .
And then there is the price.
The galaxy sIII . Utterly useless @ 35k . A human kidney costs less . A trip to Goa even less. Plus you can even get laid in reality instead of honking a balloon y bazonka with your little finger late at night sweating like a pig not wanting to wake up the entire neighborhood to the screams of a computer .
Think of all the stuff you can do with 35k instead.
Take your friends out for a treat at Pizza hut. 10 times over.
Take your friends out for a treat at a local eatery . 100 times over.
Put some 35k more and get a nice bike.
Spend it one some plants and a nice pure-bred puppy. Unlike bitchy girlfriends , this guy will stake his life for you even if you kick him in his ass every hour .
Instead you spend it on a lump of plastic and silicon that needs to be cleaned , fed with electricity and balance .Every day. And then it dies suddenly without giving a shit about you .
( I for one love the trip to Goa stuff )
Plus there is this sickening feeling that every time it leaves your hand that it might get raped ,sodomized by numerous cables , its modesty violated everytime someone wants the "Bhakti Bhajans" folder in your mSD card . Once dropped , its virginity is lost , never reaching its potential value ever again , forever feeling cheap and inferior . Plus it might even commit suicide if the rape(fall) is too hard and not even the doctor at the factory can save it .
Enough ranting . What features would I need in "SMART " phone to call it truly perfect ?
facility to talk and text.
mp3
a keyboard.
a torchlight.
calculator.
7 day battery life .
SD card slot .
headphone jack.
a screen that can withstand immense abuse.
Wait a minute . My mom's phone already does all of this . And costs 1.7k . and comes with a one year warranty.
So long suckers . Looks like I have been looking in all sorts of places to find the solution when it was here all along on my table.
and BTW , my Xperia ST-21i is up for sale . If you think you like it forget all of what you've just read and contact me . Yours for 6k .
It will become worthless in the next year .
Depreciation has never been so sexier.
I have realised from my quest for gadgets that the worst way to spend your money is to invest in anything with a microchip . Fellers bleed value faster than a chicken gut with a machete .For the few months of their availability each is seen as a 9 inch penis . Their owners tout it as an example of their supreme domination over the rest of us mere mortals. Until a few months after when they realise that I bought it for of what they paid initially . Oh the look on their faces !! Such satisfaction on seeing their erection falter into nothingness :D
.
Anyway the point here is these buggering cellphones in my humble and skeptical opinion are nothing but fancy pieces of buggering useless toys . One : they break faster than an expired condom .
Two : they cost more than a girlfriend to maintain . Three : there is nothing special about them . Millions of idiots with micro penises have them anyway ( I only now realise that the MP in a cellphone's camera means micron <long> penis ).
Take the majority of cellphones today : They suck at battery life . My old Samsung feature phone gave me a week of battery life . Even older Nokias offer close to 10 days . My Xperia ? 30 mins if I don't use it . 2 mins if I even turn on the Wi-Fi . The battery bar drops faster than the stock market during recession . Yet it packs a battery atleast twice as big as my previous phone .
I cant take my SIM card out without turning it off . Nor the microSD card . Its like having to go to the doctor everytime you need to change your dress .
Worse , I cant delete stuff from my own phone . I cant dictate what apps it can run and what it cant . I cant update it to the latest Pendroid/Android version that is released by almighty Googleji . To do that I need to install an app in my computer that updates itself consuming the 25 kbps I get from BSNL in 2013 and then updates the phone. Kind of ironical for a phone that calls itself "SMART" .
My 600 rs Casio watch can resists water upto 50m . The 60k iPhone will sputter and die like a fatso choking on a gigantic piece of chicken arse if dipped even in a bowl of Holy Water . Yo Steve yonder in heaven , art thou listening ? We need an iBone that doesn't iDIE when immersed .
Worse yet ,everywhere you go , you have idiots snapping pictures with their stupid cellphones , pimping it with filters and uploading it to instagram and calling it photography . The only thing worse are those assholes with more lenses and DSLR bodies than brains. After all the filters they put on their photo I seriously doubt if anybody can tell the difference between a woman's boobs and an elephant's . ( On the side note though there are photographers like Chase Jarvis that take really good pics using cellphones and go on to publish books using that work . The author , in the interest of self-disclosure mentions that he occasionally snaps pictures using his 3.15 MP Xperia camera that seems to oddly thinks that it is a water color artist and spits out pictures that seem like they were taken while doing a Harlem shake )
4-core , Dual-core , Octa-core . What does it matter ? As long as there is tonnes of hardcore stuff on certain secluded parts of the internet . Like that makes a difference to how fast you can get laid with your girlfriend ? The only thing it makes faster is the duration in which my batteries get drained . And secondly with your retarded brain moving slower than a sloth I doubt whether all that speed can make a difference . All that core stuff matters when you are doing scientific computing or 3-d rendering . Where the difference matters in terms of electricity costs and time to prototype.
Pretty much BS if all that computing power is going into hurling fat birds onto stupid pigs .
And then there is the price.
The galaxy sIII . Utterly useless @ 35k . A human kidney costs less . A trip to Goa even less. Plus you can even get laid in reality instead of honking a balloon y bazonka with your little finger late at night sweating like a pig not wanting to wake up the entire neighborhood to the screams of a computer .
Think of all the stuff you can do with 35k instead.
Take your friends out for a treat at Pizza hut. 10 times over.
Take your friends out for a treat at a local eatery . 100 times over.
Put some 35k more and get a nice bike.
Spend it one some plants and a nice pure-bred puppy. Unlike bitchy girlfriends , this guy will stake his life for you even if you kick him in his ass every hour .
Instead you spend it on a lump of plastic and silicon that needs to be cleaned , fed with electricity and balance .Every day. And then it dies suddenly without giving a shit about you .
( I for one love the trip to Goa stuff )
Plus there is this sickening feeling that every time it leaves your hand that it might get raped ,sodomized by numerous cables , its modesty violated everytime someone wants the "Bhakti Bhajans" folder in your mSD card . Once dropped , its virginity is lost , never reaching its potential value ever again , forever feeling cheap and inferior . Plus it might even commit suicide if the rape(fall) is too hard and not even the doctor at the factory can save it .
Enough ranting . What features would I need in "SMART " phone to call it truly perfect ?
facility to talk and text.
mp3
a keyboard.
a torchlight.
calculator.
7 day battery life .
SD card slot .
headphone jack.
a screen that can withstand immense abuse.
Wait a minute . My mom's phone already does all of this . And costs 1.7k . and comes with a one year warranty.
So long suckers . Looks like I have been looking in all sorts of places to find the solution when it was here all along on my table.
and BTW , my Xperia ST-21i is up for sale . If you think you like it forget all of what you've just read and contact me . Yours for 6k .
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