Unreal Elections. The truth is closer to fiction

A schoolteacher of mine once quoted this when she was reading out a Premchand story to our class

"Satire is a sugar coated quinine pill."

I don't remember whom she credited for the quote. Quinine pills were used to treat malaria during the 19th century (maybe even now, I don't know) and were known for their bitterness. It's a funny thing all cleansing foods and medicines are bitter in taste.

Unreal Elections starts in the typical Unreal Time fashion, a gag on the Congress Party portraying the dumbness of Pappu and the sycophancy of its workers and leaders. Digvijaya Singh later in the novel refuses to accept any person into the Congress election campaign team unless they have perfect scores on their Sycophancy Aptitude Test (SAT). The Prime Minister goes missing for 4 months when a cabinet reshuffle letter is sent to all the leaders of the Congress Party without the name of the PM. Only when the PM's signature was need to dismiss 2 cabinet ministers is it known the PM hasn't been seen in his office for the past 4 months. Sanjay Jha and Mani Shankar Aiyar, remark about the brilliance of Rahul Gandhi even in the most dire of situations. Sonia Gandhi ala Cersei Lannister style does everything in her power to ensure that the heir apparent becomes the Prime Minister. The rest of the Congress leaders do their very best to impress Rahul Baba to ensure their seats of power for the next 5 years.

Things on BJP's side are a bit better although not as well as they would like. Advani waits forever to see his day on the Iron Throne. His protege himself however proves the usurper with the entire party supporting his claim to the throne. He calmly counters Congress by allowing Rahul Gandhi to run amok, for everytime Rahul Gandhi speaks, Congress loses 10,000 votes and BJP gains 20,000. 

The Third front is made of disgruntled regional parties  lead by Prakash Karat. A ragtam team is hurriedly assembled as the third front, by bringing together even warring opponents like DMK Supremo Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha, Mayawati and Mulayam and an attempt to sow the seeds of harmony between CPI(M) and TMC ( Mamta  Baneerjee cancels the meeting when the Burger she was eating at McDonald's had Mayonnaise allegedly made by  a Mayo-ist) turns disastrous. The third front bicker and quarrel among themselves to select a third candidate for the PM and finally unite against a too righteous and condescending Yogendra Yadav from AAP.

Tired of the constant TV debates, the nerve racking routine of 2002 accusations, Arnab's "Nation wants to Know" , the entire media industry and the parties agree to a televised national debate between NaMO and Rahul. The third front announces its own debate on the same day at an alternative venue. 

I wouldn't spoil everything for you. Buy or borrow the book and read it to find out what follows next. For regular UrT readers ,the book is as good as the posts on the website. The authors have not lost their sense of humor in the transition between blog posts and a full length book. UrT is usually accused of siding with BJP at the expense of AAP and Congress. Rest assured that no party has been spared. Unreal Elections makes fun of each and every party at whatever available opportunity. Many pages left me howling like a Hyena, in the middle of the night, to the chagrin of my mom. Unreal Elections is a true laugh riot.

However, I found it a bit disappointing that a significant portion of the book has been recycled from previous UrT posts. Not to say that they are boring, it is just that I was expecting a completely original book that was totally different from the blog in terms of content. Regular UrT readers might feel that the book is just a condensation of the posts  UrT columnists since the time of Vadra-DLF scam. Nevertheless, this is still a good book and rare one in India's current literary landscape. I wouldn't call it an easy read as plenty of words found only in GRE word lists are peppered all over the book , leaving you hunting for the dictionary late at night.

The sugar coating of the Quinine pill vanishes quickly, leaving a bitter taste behind. Although the book makes you laugh till the very end, one soon realizes the horrible state of vote-bank electoral politics and the rampant corruption in our system leaving a bitter after note.  Despite 66 years of Independence, we are nowhere better than under the Colonial rule. India is still corrupt, ruled by an elite group of individuals that ignore the condition of a billion people except once every 5 years to rule for another 5 years. Dynasty rule still exists in the world's largest democracy and its citizens are designated to remain mute spectators in this game of musical chairs. The message of Unreal Elections is hidden beneath the layers of comedy and satire.

 "Liberty will not descend to a people. A people must raise themselves to liberty. It is a blessing that must be earned before it can be enjoyed"  

Kudos to the Unreal Times team for making a wonderful book . I would also like to point out that the book is relatively cheap at Rs.232.At the time of writing of this blog post, Amazon.in also offers free shipping.

PS:  Penguin books was started with the intention of producing cheap paperbacks available anywhere to be enjoyed by people. Unreal Elections is one of the few books in Penguin's catalogue that fulfils the mission of Penguin. The rest of the books are priced in such a way that only onion barons can call  them cheap.