Catching the ghost

It was as much faith as it was reason. Faith in tradition. Reason in fact. There were easier alternatives that took more time but did not require as much effort as this. But no. He shunned them. He believed that a man proves his mettle by adopting toughness. Like quenching a hot piece of metal in water, pain makes a man stronger from the inside. It emboldens him, and gives him the confidence to face tougher tasks. He would build tolerance and patience. There is no easy way out.
With all these thoughts running through his brain, he threw the  Vicks Action 500 he was clutching in sheer disgust and instead opened the Draw, searching for his Dad's cache of menthol tablets. He smiled as he found  one that will take him through this trial by fire, metaphorically. The rat-a-tat of the lid of the vessel on the stove indicated that the water has reached its boiling point. He slid the vessel off the stove and opened the lid to the vapour fumes as they burned his skin slightly.
It's about time he caught the ghost.




For my fellow beings who do not understand what the last line meant, The practice of inhaling menthol tablets dropped into boiling water is called "Aavi pudikardhu" in Tamil, which literally means, catching the ghost. It is one of the fastest and most effective ways of combating common cold and nasal congestion. 

Secularism

Secularism is not pandering to the minority. Neither is it a policy of tolerance, where the majority "tolerate" the minority and give them rights. Who the fuck do you think you are, anyway? Secularism isn't about selective policies that aid minority communities while ignoring the vast number of the down-trodden among the majority. That's called votebank politics you asshole.
True secularism is the total elimination of  the influence of identity politics and religion  from policy making.  Secularism does not mean we should censor speech/videos that offend the sensibilities of the minority. That is censorship you dickhead. True secularism is the defense of any form of speech, irrespective of the damage done by it on the sensitive sensibilities of any religious prickhead,  from physical and legal repercussions.  Ofcourse, you might still have to lawyer up for a defamation suit if you go around calling people names, so be sensible in your speech if you are not willing to fork up shitloads of money.

An open letter to all open letters

Dear open letter,

I've wanting to write this to you for a long time. I feel guilty for not having told you this earlier. You see, intellectualism has created this opinion that outraging and voicing out opinions and harsh reactions on paper can change the society and eliminate cancer and corruption ." A pen is mightier than the sword" is the most quoted quote these days. Never mind the fact that in a few years all pens will be replaced by touchscreens and keyboards. And try slicing a tomato with a pen.  You will just get tomato juice all over you like you fell into a tub of ketchup.
Anyway back to the point. I am not going to mince my words. It is high time you realized the truth: you are useless. Utterly, butterly, useless. Come to think of it, were you written on paper, I could have atleast used you to wipe my butt after a shit. But I just got hit by this truck of realization that the worst thing you could ever be in the universe is a digital open letter.
Why ? Because you are mostly just an opinion. Mostly. And opinions on the internet are more than individual sand grains on the beach. Worthless.
Second: On the internet you are addressed to either
a) a person who doesn't know English
b) isn't on facebook (or)
c) makes too much money to give a fuck about you
So chum. It took me a lot of effort to tell you this. I know it is hard, but being a good friend of yours,  I have no choice but to lay it out infront of you. Please die. You are simply not worth it.

Your Sincerely,
Another useless open letter.

the art of letting go

how easy it is. To hate someone you loved the most. To reply to rejection with bitterness. For the affection to turn into apathy. Blinded by thirst for revenge. The glow of warmth and happiness now replaced with a cold, harsh, cutting wind of negativity.  And to rise above it all, to love unconditionally; to accept the situation and move forward without losing hope. 

Interstellar Review - Spoilers Ahead

The premise is nothing new. The world is ravaged by war perhaps and food is scarce. Agriculture and survival is the main focus of the people on Earth. We then shift camp to some farm in the US where wheat and other crops are destroyed save for Corn. Mankind is at the threshold of existence. No light is thrown on the reason for this scarcity. But that really doesn't matter here. Interstellar is not about what happens on Earth but about the future without it. As the hero says "Mankind began on Earth but it doesn't have to die there".
The visuals of IS has a lot in common with Gravity. Stark scenes of harsh sunlight reflecting off of space stations set against the gorgeous background of planets and and stars, Icy terrains , mountain tall waves and  the narrow, dull interiors of a spaceship that reminds us of Gravity. The scene where Matt Damon is blown off a spaceship and the transition from the screaming wind when the airlock breaks to the silence that depicts the fact that he is now into space where sound cannot travel is all handled wonderfully. Visuals were always a strong point of Nolan's movie and IS spares no expense in this regard. Those close up shots with gorgeous lighting, the wonderful shots of planets makes you want to watch IS many times over in a cinema. And Nolan in his typical "fuck the norm" fashion shot it in  regular 2D effectively doing away with the eye pain inducing gimmicks( Again Nolan is one of the few directors along with Tarantino who still shots his movies in film).

Nolan juxtaposes the survival of the species with the emotions between individuals. Characters are not just skin deep but have intentions and emotions that often conflict with their responsibilities. Matthew McConaughey wants to finish off the mission quickly so that he can get back to his daughter, Matt Damon is haunted by the ghost of aloofness and Jessica Chastain is distraught at her father for leaving her yet desperate to get back together with him. It is a soulful tale full of emotions although it can be a bit draggy at times.

The science team seems to have done their homework very well. The shot of matter swiveling around a super massive black hole is said to have been rendered with the help of proper scientific equations and took around 800 TB of data to calculate. I am reminded of George Clooney's dialogue in Gravity "Cant beat the view".

The movie Looper has a good albeit tough to understand explanation of Time Travel and its consequences. Bruce Willis travels back in time and affects the past and events that are changed in the ripple causes him to lose previous memories and "remember" the new ones as they are formed. In IS though it is told that humans have transcended into higher dimensions that allow them to travel through time like they travel through space and communicate with 3 dimensional human civilization using gravity. They create  the wormhole through which humans can travel to another galaxy to resettle and assist the hero and his daughter to derive the equations to manipulate gravity to launch mankind en masse into space. Here is where a conundrum presents itself. How could humans help out their past survive an apocalypse in the past if they do not have a way to survive it without help from the future in the first place ?? Someone somewhere might have an explanation and I reserve the right to change my opinion when I get a better explanation. This is a major chink in the armor of Interstellar, which although not fatal is seriously distracting as one cannot help but notice this after it has been pointed out.

Summing it up, IS is "The Turn" in the 3 parts of a magic trick, where the director seems to showcase something wonderfully impossible and delightful at the same time. 165 million dollars have gone into making this visual extravaganza. "The Prestige" is the storyline, the one that tells that this a human story, bringing us back to the ground. I wouldn't want to give this movie a rating. Movies are very personal and cannot be reviewed objectively. Apart from its lack of explanation of the time travel part and the rather longish (3 hrs) screenplay Interstellar is just what is expected of a director of Nolan's caliber.

Unreal Elections. The truth is closer to fiction

A schoolteacher of mine once quoted this when she was reading out a Premchand story to our class

"Satire is a sugar coated quinine pill."

I don't remember whom she credited for the quote. Quinine pills were used to treat malaria during the 19th century (maybe even now, I don't know) and were known for their bitterness. It's a funny thing all cleansing foods and medicines are bitter in taste.

Unreal Elections starts in the typical Unreal Time fashion, a gag on the Congress Party portraying the dumbness of Pappu and the sycophancy of its workers and leaders. Digvijaya Singh later in the novel refuses to accept any person into the Congress election campaign team unless they have perfect scores on their Sycophancy Aptitude Test (SAT). The Prime Minister goes missing for 4 months when a cabinet reshuffle letter is sent to all the leaders of the Congress Party without the name of the PM. Only when the PM's signature was need to dismiss 2 cabinet ministers is it known the PM hasn't been seen in his office for the past 4 months. Sanjay Jha and Mani Shankar Aiyar, remark about the brilliance of Rahul Gandhi even in the most dire of situations. Sonia Gandhi ala Cersei Lannister style does everything in her power to ensure that the heir apparent becomes the Prime Minister. The rest of the Congress leaders do their very best to impress Rahul Baba to ensure their seats of power for the next 5 years.

Things on BJP's side are a bit better although not as well as they would like. Advani waits forever to see his day on the Iron Throne. His protege himself however proves the usurper with the entire party supporting his claim to the throne. He calmly counters Congress by allowing Rahul Gandhi to run amok, for everytime Rahul Gandhi speaks, Congress loses 10,000 votes and BJP gains 20,000. 

The Third front is made of disgruntled regional parties  lead by Prakash Karat. A ragtam team is hurriedly assembled as the third front, by bringing together even warring opponents like DMK Supremo Karunanidhi and Jayalalitha, Mayawati and Mulayam and an attempt to sow the seeds of harmony between CPI(M) and TMC ( Mamta  Baneerjee cancels the meeting when the Burger she was eating at McDonald's had Mayonnaise allegedly made by  a Mayo-ist) turns disastrous. The third front bicker and quarrel among themselves to select a third candidate for the PM and finally unite against a too righteous and condescending Yogendra Yadav from AAP.

Tired of the constant TV debates, the nerve racking routine of 2002 accusations, Arnab's "Nation wants to Know" , the entire media industry and the parties agree to a televised national debate between NaMO and Rahul. The third front announces its own debate on the same day at an alternative venue. 

I wouldn't spoil everything for you. Buy or borrow the book and read it to find out what follows next. For regular UrT readers ,the book is as good as the posts on the website. The authors have not lost their sense of humor in the transition between blog posts and a full length book. UrT is usually accused of siding with BJP at the expense of AAP and Congress. Rest assured that no party has been spared. Unreal Elections makes fun of each and every party at whatever available opportunity. Many pages left me howling like a Hyena, in the middle of the night, to the chagrin of my mom. Unreal Elections is a true laugh riot.

However, I found it a bit disappointing that a significant portion of the book has been recycled from previous UrT posts. Not to say that they are boring, it is just that I was expecting a completely original book that was totally different from the blog in terms of content. Regular UrT readers might feel that the book is just a condensation of the posts  UrT columnists since the time of Vadra-DLF scam. Nevertheless, this is still a good book and rare one in India's current literary landscape. I wouldn't call it an easy read as plenty of words found only in GRE word lists are peppered all over the book , leaving you hunting for the dictionary late at night.

The sugar coating of the Quinine pill vanishes quickly, leaving a bitter taste behind. Although the book makes you laugh till the very end, one soon realizes the horrible state of vote-bank electoral politics and the rampant corruption in our system leaving a bitter after note.  Despite 66 years of Independence, we are nowhere better than under the Colonial rule. India is still corrupt, ruled by an elite group of individuals that ignore the condition of a billion people except once every 5 years to rule for another 5 years. Dynasty rule still exists in the world's largest democracy and its citizens are designated to remain mute spectators in this game of musical chairs. The message of Unreal Elections is hidden beneath the layers of comedy and satire.

 "Liberty will not descend to a people. A people must raise themselves to liberty. It is a blessing that must be earned before it can be enjoyed"  

Kudos to the Unreal Times team for making a wonderful book . I would also like to point out that the book is relatively cheap at Rs.232.At the time of writing of this blog post, Amazon.in also offers free shipping.

PS:  Penguin books was started with the intention of producing cheap paperbacks available anywhere to be enjoyed by people. Unreal Elections is one of the few books in Penguin's catalogue that fulfils the mission of Penguin. The rest of the books are priced in such a way that only onion barons can call  them cheap.  

I hate writing

I have come to a conclusion.  I hate writing.

Goodbye long sentences. My brain can no longer concentrate on them.
Goodbye tough words. My brain isn't too worried about the nuances. I get the gist.
Goodbye philosophy. You are mostly bullshit.
Goodbye opinion. Your statistical significance is so low that even Frodo will have to bend down to see it.
Goodbye morality. Thanks to you i get into a "who has a bigger moral penis" competition with people on the INTERNET.
Goodbye Grammar. You will be obsolete in a few years.
Goodbye issues. Who cares about you?
Goodbye scandals. You will be replaced by larger, grander successors.
Goodbye politics. I could never figure you out.
Goodbye computer. You ruined my chances into IIT and crore scale dowry.