In a stunning move to improve the speed of booking tickets online , after complaints that spanned the breadth and width of India , Indian Railways has decided to replace its online portal with the just retired Telegraph service . An highly placed railways official said " Indian Railways always believes that old is gold and what truly is classic will never die. We even keep the seats dirty and use coaches dating back to the Raj in our trains to give passengers a nostalgic journey. Infact , we are even thinking of replacing the diesel engines with coal powered ones owing to the high fuel prices . Our decision to replace the online portal was not easy . However our internal performance reports show that booking
tickets via telegrams is faster than using our online portal . The railways minister Malliarjun Kharge was so impressed that he immediately fired all the IT staff at IRCTC and then bought out all now useless telegraph equipment from the BSNL exchange nearby and their engineers and operators ."
The official also stressed on the fact that this system of booking tickets is unique and exists nowhere else in the world . He also points out that the system is unhackable " Who the bloody hell knows morse code these days . The only thing people know today is C and Java code . " Meanwhile anticipating a huge demand for telegraph thanks to the move by IRCTC , NIIT has started offering Morse Code programming classes with guaranteed placements in IRCTC after completion of the course .
-this is the beginning of my tidbit fake news column where i treat you to a small tasty snack once in every few days
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